Our egos love being right.
“Being right” allows us to look over our shoulders and triumphantly exclaim, “I knew it!”
If we’re “right,” we don’t need to wonder. Wondering is open-ended, and because of that, it feels vulnerable, it’s exhausting, and we want it to stop. We can bypass all of that by deciding that - guess what - we’re RIGHT!
Our egos love being right because being right feels safe. Being right allows us to exist in the status quo. Being right means that we don’t have to change, or to grow, or to try on something new for size.
Being right also gives us a get out of jail free card to stop putting in effort.
If we really ARE “right” about something, then we never need to put effort into figuring that thing out ever again. Doesn’t that sound nice?
We can heave a giant sigh of relief because we no longer carry the burden of doing any of this work any longer. We don’t need to listen to our inner critic with its incessant chanting, and we don’t need to compare ourselves to our friends and family and wonder why what they have can’t happen for us.
We don’t need to wonder — because it’s already been decided. We’re right.
And that’s a relief. We can stop trying, and we can stop wondering, and we can (finally) hot-glue-gun the lid on the top of the trash can where our inner critic lives. We can just stop the whole thing.
Because — didn’t you hear? We’re right. So we don’t need to do any of this anymore.
The unfortunate thing about this is: If we’re always “right,” then we’re never learning.
If we’re certain, then we never give ourselves the opportunity to prove ourselves wrong.
What if being “wrong” about the thing that scares us could be a gift?
What if you got curious about the thing that you're so certain about, and it opened a door to hope, to fulfilment, to meeting a charming stranger, adopting a dog together, and spending your weekends happily-ever-after throwing sticks for Fido to catch as you walk together into the sunset, holding hands?
Where in your dating life might you be able to trade being “right” for being curious?